SCHEDULE:
Color scheme is now part of Uriels. Is that better The class may be taken "asynchronously" as they say in online parlance, or however you wish. please note, because the Mass is offered every day, instead of having 5 days of class a week for 16 weeks you have 7 days of material which means, the last month is all extra. thus, there are only three questions per day or four, instead of five. in the end, there are supposed to be 400 questions, (sorry, this is a correction, one trimester would have 400 quesstions per course for a total of 1600 questions, not 1600 questions per course. However, that said, consider this: if you went to Mass every day for four years, that's 4800 questions so yeah that's, three SATS ok. LOL.) to satisfy anyone that this is as good as an SAT in bibilcal exegisis. The time investment is probably 15 minutes a day minimum or two hours a week (15 times seven is one hundred five minutes, just short of 2 hours)

A PROTOTYPE OF A URIEL U. CLASS
This is offered by the divinity department of Uriel's, it is a good prototype for anyone who is curious about the school. Also, there are no prerequites. Jesus is often undervalued as a teacher by professional academics, just as he was in his own day becuase there is no record that he possessed an advanced degree from a university such as Athens, so how was it that at the age of 12 he was able to debate in the temple?
It must have made the scholars uneasy even then, and later, even more so.

COLLEGE CREDIT FOR THIS COURSE.
College credit may be earned if the mass readings are followed for 16 weeks, the quizzes are taken, and a presentation of some question presently being debated in theology is made, or some similar project undertaken such as working in a community garden, school, homeless shelter, prison, hospital, refugee camp, or a domestic violence shelter, etc.
If you listen to the Mass every day for four years, you have heard every reading in all four cycles. And, it's free.

PEDAGOGICAL STYLE OF CHRIST
As this is an exegesis coourseIt should be noted for historical and cultural context that like Socrates, Jesus was a "walk the walk and talk the talk" sort of teacher.
He rarely resorted to the written word, and when he did it was often to shake people from their reliance on it, as in the famous scene where he reads from the scroll of the prophet Isaiah.
The implication is, you dont need to be literate to hear and believe the message of eternal joy.
This is not to say reading is bad, simply that it must be placed in the proper perspective, which intellectuals at times omit to do in their enthusiasm.

PRICE PER CLASS OF A CHRIST CLASS

Jesus did actually teach for free, there seems to be no record of him demanding tuition for his lectures or Q and A sessions.
Was he being foolishly funded by the fish of Peter, just as Marx was funded by a hapless and naive Engels? Or is something greater than Marx at work here?
(this is kind of rhetorical, kind of tongue in cheek and kind of, just funny, becuase the real engelz bring the message of Jesus, whereas Marx apparently did not believe in God at all.)
This website is free, though the songs cost $5 a month to upload.

DISCUSSION GROUPS:
Where available, attend a group discussion as for example, go to St Vincents' in midtown at seven pm and study the bible with Frassati's friends. Does this mean Lynx Lauschens has become lynx Lagnuso? NOOOO

MONDAY MARCH 7 2022

1. You shall not go up and down the town and
litter
slander
fart
Please, do not be so scatalogical, which is different from ESCATALOGIIAL. one is probably the antithesis of the other: scatalogical, earthly escataological, heavenly? is that right?

2.You shall not hate thy brother in. thy heart, instead:

take two aspirins and call Herod in the morning
take a vacation down by the Sea of Galilee
poisson, or, none of the above

3. when Jesus makes reference to the story of Namann, the people in the synagogue:
are insulted
are angry
try to kill him
all of the above

You shall not hate thy brother in thy heart, instead: A. reason with him. B. kill him. C. sing him a few songs. If you want more advice from God, who doesn't make mistakes, read Leviticus.

TUESDAY, MARCH 8, 2022, SPRING TRIMESTER WEEK TEN

Today we celebrate one of the patrons of Mental illness, St john of A. God B. Grotiues. C. Gruner.
We also celebrate the international day of women and maybe the Virgin mary will prevail on the world's people to be more peaceable Todays Psalm says the Lord is near to the broken of A. heart. B. bunnies. C. Bikes.
The gospel is about which prayer? A. the angelus. B. the confiteor. C. The pater noster.
Remember you can always hear the mass anytime on various chanels includin teleradio padre pio which is preferred by nine out of ten boombazzi lol.

God told Jonah, arise and go to A. Nineva. B. Miami Beach C. Taco Bell.
For the outcry I have heard against her is A. there are too many rich people lording it over wage laborers. B. there are too many beta kittens saluting Beelzebub on youtube music. C. God desnt erally put it that way but you get the picture.
Jonah went dead opposite, probably because A. prophets usually get stoned, and we don't mean marijuana.
Prophets don't get paid combat pay while they are usually in combat with somebody. C. Both A and B.
I think I'll join the Baal prophets union, siad johan true or false.
When Jona finally obeyed GOd and the poeple converted, Jona ran out in the desert because he figured A. people would say he was a fake prophet since y2k never came after all.
The ship captain at joppa had lent him a few millions which indeed he never paid back. C. He was looking for the eil demon asmodeus to see if Rapahel the angel had beaten him in an epic rap battle.

Babs, Battisti and Bugnini. Ok maybe later...something serious perhaps needs to be mentioned in the cloaca thread. There is much, much to say about the Latin Mass controversy and people blame bugnini --they focus a lot on tradition but one thing that seems to have been less talked about is the language of things that Pasolini loved to use in his cinema of poetry.
If Jesus is the word of God then the word was translated into a human person, and then a piece of bread is also "translated" into the word of God. which is God
it's metaphysics, it's translaion disrupting what we think is that natural law. This is the power of language...the power Tolkien whose mother converted to the Roman Mass and lost so much money by doing so... spent his life studying.
We have seen before that the mass is about rememebering, just like the Rosary. Because mass memes are about mercy, they interject God's living love into the dead past.
Jesus said "I am the alpha and the omega" he used letters.
So if the Roman language is used to remember and recount the story of Jesus being executed, and this same language is used to honor him as a victorious veteran of the var with Beelzebubb, then...the language truly is being cleaned up in the most accurate sense of the word.
Jesus was condemed --the ultimate blasphemy, killing God--with words spoken by a Roman judge in latin. that was the language that was used. If that same language is now used to glorify and love Jesus, then the hatred is washed away. It's like a global apology to God.

MONDAY, MARCH 14, 2022 SPRING TRIMESTER WEEK ELEVEN.

Tonight once again the Frassati Bible nerds (this is a compliment) will be meeting at "vinny's place."
If you can't make it, here's a few quizzies from concludo's class. (again, kidding.) The Docents at uriels got their bible knowledge from priests, and also from professors who didn't necessarily believe in God, but had spent a lot of time reading the bible and studying it, so its not as authentic as Frassati perhaps, but it's good to review the Mass readings, so there you have it.

Judge not, Jesus commands Christians, and A. you won't get a job on the SCOTUS.
You dont get to wear funky black revival gospel robes.
You will not be judged.

Give, and A. you'll get crucified. B. you'll get it back. C. possibly both A and B.
The measure you use will be A. the same measure God uses with you. B. the width of the temple precincts. B. as high as the sky and as deep as the sea of Cortez.
It will be a generous portion of A. Grace. B. milk duds. C. Possibly both A and B.
We have to forgive or A. how can we be forgiven? B. How can we live with the weight of resentment boiling away like an overheated pot? C. Both A and B.

TUESDAY, MARCH 15, 2022.
Gospel
You have to admit this DOES sound a bit like anarchy, except instead of "no law" it's "God's law".
But when you consider how this sounds, it really isn't much of a surprise that the poor man got the death penalty.
MATTHEW 23:1-12 1Then said Jesus to the crowds and to his disciples, 2"The scribes and the Pharisees sit on Moses' seat; 3so practice and observe whatever they tell you, but not what they do; for they preach, but do not practice. 4They bind heavy burdens, hard to bear, and lay them on men's shoulders; but they themselves will not move them with their finger. 5They do all their deeds to be seen by men; for they make their phylacteries broad and their fringes long, 6and they love the place of honor at feasts and the best seats in the synagogues, 7and salutations in the market places, and being called rabbi by men. 8But you are not to be called rabbi, for you have one teacher, and you are all brethren. 9And call no man your father on earth, for you have one Father, who is in heaven. 10Neither be called masters, for you have one master, the Christ. 11He who is greatest among you shall be your servant; 12whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted.

The scribes and the pharisees sit in the seat of A. the CEO of some fortune 500 company. B. the back of the theater, where theres' gum everywhere. C. Moses.
However they preach, but they do not A. make any sense. B. use the dialect of the Kidron Valley. C. pracitcie what they preach.
THey love to show up at fancy banquets wearing A. Balenciaga. B. Versace. C. Probably both A and B.
They love to swagger around town followed by A. celebrities. B. Baloney billionaires.C. likely, both A and B.
Yet they make life hard for people and do not lift a finger to A. lift a finger to help them. B. flip the bird, and we dont mean magpies. C. help anyone.
As to question 4, This is not meant to criticize Italian fashion in and of itself--art is good-- but a certain attitude which Jesus was criticizing in the political and religious leaders of his times. Beauty after all has the same root as Beati.

March 17, 2022, THURSDAY OF WEEK 12, SPRING TRIMESTER.
yesterday we omitted the quiz, so let's do a quick recap. "Non ministrari, sed ministrare" (you may google it if you wish, that is not cheating) is the motto of which college?

A. Wells.
B.Wellesley.
C. Wesleyan.
It comes from a famous teaching of Jesus which was a response to his students fighting over
A. who would get the best grade.
B. who would get the highest salary. C. essentially, both A and B.
But Jesus, ever the radical (ie returning to the roots of Eden) corrected the whole catty, competitive crew by saying "yes, the childrne of this world are petty and mean, but in my kingdom "the greatest is the one who serves.
The one who has the best bible.
C. The one who follows me around shouting "Lord, Lord, I am so Holy" like a political sycophant.
---Again, we must be aware that according to the internal logic of the story of Christ, this sort of revolutionary behaviour is what got Jesus dragged before the empire sentenced to die. Sad, but true.
The truth is, the haters of the world wish to divide people, like their Pal Satanas the "divider and the accuser."
they then blame God for all their bad behavior. "its on him" they say and they are correct, all the weight of their waywardness is on his shoulders.
But then again, the government is on his shoulders, too.
Fear not, little flock for it has pleased God your fahter to GIVE you the kingdom, and "the accuser of the world has been thrown down."

In todays' gospel, the poor man Lazarus suffers and starves to death but ends up in heaven.
The rich man who hoarded money goes to hell. This is a teaching of Christ so somehow we have to make sense of it.
As Jesus describes this so graphically, we may assume being unintentionally greedy is one o his pet peeves.
the rich man does not seem like a bad person.
Yet, Jesus does not tell a story of hell so specifically for any other sin, does he?

For those who were listening to the un minuto with Pio, feel free to research former freemason Attorney Festa of Genoa, and his friendship with Padre Pio. Amen.

Friday of week 12, spring trimester.
Jacob was also known as Israel becuase he A. boxed the angel. B. wrestled the angel. C. beat up the angel with a baseball bat.
Jacob often referred to the angel as A. blowhard. B. a brujo. C. A dingbat, no no wait that's a different story altogether.
As a result of wrestling the angel, Jacop was always A. lame. B. dumb. C. deaf.
Joseph was sold into slavery by his jealous brothers, but he ended up A. being rich. B. forgiving his brothers. C. both a and b.
For extra credit which gibb brother played Joseph? A. Andy. B. Barry. C. Maurice, and that's my last ofFer.

On the feast of St Joseph we note that Abraham, David and Joseph the husband of Mary show a progression in the plan of God. Abraham has a child with the slave woman, but God maintains the covenant with the child of his wife.
In David's case the covenant is with the child of the woman whose husband David murdered!
but God's mysterious and prodigious mercy doesn't stop there...Joseph although Mary seems to be cheating on him does not wish to harm her...and this time, the covenant is fulfilled with a virgin birth, the strangest miracle yet.
Auguri, Padre Rinaldo!!...

An article on Pope Francis and his pastoral style

SUNDAY, MARCH 20. 2022. FIRST DAY OF SPRING

In today's Gospel, Jesus makes reference to A. the twin towers.
B Trump towers.
C A tower tht collapsed and killed some people in Galilee.
Those people died because A. they were very wicked. B. death entered the world when we trusted Satan more than we trusted God.
C. Neither X, Y nor Z.
We will all perish, Jesus warned, unless we A. bomb our brother, just as Cain did to Abel.
B. ask forgiveness for our wayward ways.
Build a bunker off the coast of Bminini. Yes, I love to say bimini.
Yet, let us not be so quick to cut down A. the fig. B. the cherry. C. the prugna.
Let us instead A. pile manure upon the prado.
plow up the gullies with milk duds. C. have you got a screw loose?

MARCH 21, 2022 MONDAY OF WEEK TWELVE, SPRING TRIMESTER.

1. In today's readings, Namaan the Syrian has come down with:
leprosy
the "rona"
bizarre fruit allergies
poisson

2. Elisha the disciple of Elijah advises him to:
check himself into Bellvue
take two aspirins and call Herod in the morning
take a vacation down by the Sea of Galilee
poisson, or, none of the above

3. when Jesus makes reference to the story of Namann, the people in the synagogue:
are insulted
are angry
try to kill him
all of the above

THIS IS HERE SO WE CAN PUT THE QUIZ IN THIS FORMAT SO IT WILL BE MORE ACCEPTABLE TO ACCREDITATION AUTHORITIES.
Check the answer to each multiple-coice question, and click on the "Send Form" button to submit the information. DAY TWO WEEK TWELVE SPRING TRI March 22, 2022 TODAYS LESSON IS ABOUT VENDETTA VERSUS VALANGA, THE EVERPRESENT CHALLENGE. SOMEONE OVERSLEPT THE MASS O NO

1. How often must I forgive someone who wrongs me?:
seven
seven plus seven
seventy times seven
poisson

2. Someone may owe you a meal at Benjamins steakhouse becuase they messed you over, but you probably owe God:
fifteen million
a castle in Lampedusa surruonded by cherry trees and stuff
well whatever you owe God, you sure can't afford to pay it
poisson

3. And so, you better figure out how to forgive your neighbor so you dont end up
in debtors prison
in Purgatory
in a hell of hatred that fries your potatoes until they are blackened and inedible and then you go after stansfield with a blunderbuss and the ending isn't very pretty
poisson

DAY THREE WEEK TWELVE SPRING TRI March 23, 2022 TODAYS LESSON IS ABOUT THE LAW, People thought Jesus was an anarchist of the sort that would be "lawless" but in his own words, His law is love, which is the fulfillment of hte commandments of SInai.
If we follow two simple rules, love each other and love God, this is "the law and the prophets."

1. Jesus said, I have not come to:
abolish the law
give the prophets market share in Silicon valley
strike the pharisees with boils and bunions
poisson

2.In fact I have come to
break the law
fulfill the law
go to Yale Law School and then Harvard and then none to figure out if Billy is a better ~~bully~~ barrister than Barry, or is it better to be Bush
poisson

3. THe law must be fulfilled down to the last iota, thus those who teach this will be called
great in my kingdom
emeritus at the faculty club
provost at the trustees' meeting
poisson

DAY FOUR WEEK TWELVE SPRING TRI March 24, 2022 TODAYS LESSON IS ABOUT JESUS "TAKING OVER" THE EARTH FROM BEELZEBUBBA.

1.There was a man possessed by a demon who could not:
speak
walk
eat
poisson

2.WHen Jesus cast the demon out of the man, people said
that's great and all, but it's illegal according to Mosaic law
maybe we can make a horror movie and be rich
The only way Jesus could do that is if the devil let him do it becuase he could never be cool enough to overthrow the devil, that would mean he might actually be God
poisson

Jesus replied, your argument is illogical since
Spock says so
Aristotle says so
Husserl says so
why would Beelzebubba do battle against his own soldiers? So saying he went off down the road humming tumm tee tumm, where upon the pharisees said "you broke my heart, Jesus, you broke my heart. ok strike that last part.

Since today is Gabriel's feast, math nerds may take joy in trying to explain Gabriel's horn, a riddle of calculus. there are many videos on youtube with merch for sale of which Sergei and Larry likely get a cut, according to their calculus, though they likely do not need it, and simply use it to pour money into air BNB and price everybody else out of SF onto the cold hard pavement with no fire pit in sight but O WELL (vents wind from volcano) the angels probably know the theory by heart, just saying. Actually whaTODAYS LESSON IS ABOUT THE LAW, People thought Jesus was an anarchist of the sort that would be "lawless" but in his own words, His law is love, which is the fulfillment of hte commandments of SInai.
If we follow two simple rules, love each other and love God, this is "the law and the prophets."

MARCH 25, the new year's day in the lord of the rings after Frodo went to heaven. And Tolkien says its not an allegory, well, we have to bow to his opinion, he was the one who wrote it.

1. The angel Gabriel was sent to the town of:
Nazaret
Nagano
Naples
Niepokalanow

2.He went to the home of a young woman named
Molly
Miley
Mary, which may. be translated, sea, or, bitterness, since the sea is not potable due to excessive salt
Matilda

3. What did the angel say to the girl
you are the greatest in the kingdom
is this Gluck street number three?
Rejoice, o full of grace!
poisson

SABATO 26 MARZO 2022,

1. Two men went to the temple to pray:
the tiki kings
the dobre brothers
a pharisee and a publican
Niepokalanow

2.how did the pharisee pray?
He sang panis angelicus
he danced the rain dance, like geronimo
he said OMG CHECK ME OUT!! I AM HOLY!!
Matilda, though its possible girls were not permitted in the temple while smoking

3. The tax collector on the other hand stood shyly in the back, weeping and crying
you are the greatest in the kingdom
is this Gluck street number three?
God, have mercy on me!
poisson

SUNDAY MARCH 27 2022 LAETARE TURBA CAELITUM

1. The prodigal son took his share of the inheritance and:
bought the farm
squandered it in riotous living
put it under his mattress
it got stolen by a man wearing a balaclava who got on the A train and was never seen again

2.The father represents
an angel
an archtype of Jungian psychology
God
God is dead, and the war's begun, don't you listen to Elton John?

3. what did the father do when the son returned
disowned him forever
threw a party
said, sorry son but I rented your room out to some travellers from Jericho
poisson

MONDAY MARCH 28 2022 SPRING TRIMESTER WEEK 13

1. The first reading God says "behold I am creating a new
heaven
earth
famine
both a and b, but not c

2.The psalmist says O lord be my
angel
archtype of Jungian psychology
business partner
helper

3. In the Gospel, Jesus is exasperated with the wheeling and dealing sort of theology of the Jews, and says
I quit
unless I do a miracle nobody loves me wwaaaaaaaa what I am some two bit magician
Yeah though I walk through the valley of death I fear no miracle
poisson

TUESDAY MARCH 29 2022 SPRING TRIMESTER WEEK 13

1.The angel took Ezekiel to see what?
heaven
earth
famine
both a and b, but not c

2.the rivers in heaven are pure as crystal and the fruit is
pretty sweet
an archtype of Jungian psychology
free
both a and c, but certainly not d. ok this is a joke ok

3. In the Gospel, Jesus heals a man, and so the pharisees decide that they should kil Jesus. Why?
because he did it on the Sabbath
becuase like Cosmas and Damiano he charged no medical fee
because the man he healed was part of the zealot sect, intent on blowing up the ziggurat of Ur in Chaldee with a hookah pipe bomb
poisson
Quelli che si sono svegliati per ascoltare la messa di mezzogiorno a SGR, fate attenzione al frate, che c'e una ragione ancora piu grande per la morte di Gesu: he said he was God.
This was apparently a crime under Jewish Law.
But did they prove beyond a reasonable doubt that he was lying?

WEDNESDAY MARCH 30 2022 SPRING TRIMESTER WEEK 13

1.God said to Isaiah, I will never forget
my people
the theory of everything
that time you threw rotten tomatoes at me in the desert
both a and b, but not c

2.the psalmist sings, the lord is near to
the temple in Jerusalem
the kidron valley
all those who call upon him in truth

3. John observes that the Jews sought to kill Jesus all the more when Jesus called God?
his father
his home slice
his crypto-banker
poisson

THURSDAY, MARCH 31 2022 SPRING TRIMESTER WEEK 13

1.God said to Moses, step aside while I
destroy the tribes of Abraham, and go to Plan B.
melt down the golden calf and make some golden vessels for my temple
check the Exodus GPS
blow up the galaxy with a few super novas

2.the psalmist remembers how Moses
agreed with God and said, Dalle! Andale!
said, ok, Lord, you know best, but in that case, may I just go back to Egypt and be Pharoahs' deputy
begged God not to wipe out the Israelites
could not hear God, since he was fast asleep in the tent

3. in the Gospel, Jesus claims that his testimony is?
the truth
the whole truth
nothing but the truth
essentially, all of the above, yet somehow he was still discredited, it's bizarre

FRIDAY APRIL 1 2022 In the old days, this was new years day, the 8th day of the Incarnation.
no fooling.
SPRING TRIMESTER WEEK 13

DA ME STESSO NON VENGO,
one of the most famous lines in Dante, quoted directly from Jesus, in the mouth of Vergil a Thomistic way of uniting diverse pagan traditions with the engelbrott--and a phrase which the Leopard wrote a whole paper on for a Dante class, back in the day. True story.
We recommend the story of Akash bashir, a martyr who died a couple weeks ago in Pakistan. Kind of a Leon Montagna type of explosion. Theme for discussion/meditation: why do people torment and torture the one who testifies to the truth?

1.Let us torment the just one, for he
makes us look bad
won't go along with our sins
claims God is his daddy
all of the above

2.We'll kill him in a cruel way and see if God
notices
cares
saves him after all
all of the above

3.Risking certain death, the dwarf Gimli gamely agreed to go to Morder.
Risking certain death, the messiah Jesus stole quietly into Jerusalem and in answer to the pharisee gossip, got up on a table and cried?
My testimony is the truth
it does not come from me
I speak only what I hear in heaven
essentially, all of the above, yet somehow he was still discredited, it's bizarre

SATURDAY APRIL 2 2022

1.The prophet Jeremeia said, I did not know they wanted to
devise a scheme against me
slaughter me like a lamb
cut off the tree of my life with all the fruit still on it
all of the above

2.The psalmist says, O Lord
why did I not win the lotto so I could move to Bimini
why did I not inherit my uncle's fortress in Certosa di trisulti
save me Lord and protect me
I quit

3.The police did not want to arrest jesus because actually ?
they liked him
they were in the dunkin
they had already arrested enough poeple to fill the jail and get paid
they had all joined a sect of hara krishna

WEEK FOURTEEN SPRING TRIMESTER SUNDAY APRIL 3 2022

TREE IS FROM ANNALISE ART ON PIXABAY

1.Jesus went out to the mount of
figs
grapefruits
olives
anchovies-- no, wait, those don't grow on trees

2.The crowd was about to stone a woman (but not a man, oddly) for the sin of
adultery
streetwalking
jaywalking
walking the wrong way down a one way walkway

3.Jesus replied, sure, why not? Just let the perfect pharisee throw the first rock. Then it might be speculated, he began to
write their sins in the sand
write the higgs boson theory in the sand
complain about the price of olives in general, blaming it on the high living Roman politicians
dig up the ground to air it out in preparation for ficchesane planting

MONDAY APRIL 4 2022

1. In a classic @METOO moment, since Susannah didn't want to sleep with the producers of the narrative, they
called her a bad beta kitten, and promoted Olivia and Billie instead
called her a XXXX a XXX and prepared to kill her for their sin
ran away to 42nd street
all of the above

2. Susannah refused to recant her innocence, and shouted
why did I not win the lotto so I could move to Bimini
why did I not inherit my uncle's fortress in Certosa di trisulti
save me Lord and protect me
I quit

3.Jesus, also a victim of the producers of false narratives, stood his ground and said ?
why dont you love me?
why dont' you believe me?
why dont you just arrest me?
my testimony is true but I'm too poor to hire a lawyer to I'll just use the Ruah but you wont believe him either because its just TOO DAMN INCONVENIENT TO THE POWER STRUCTURE THANK YOU I"LL BE BACK SUNDAY
stimony is true but I'm too poor to hire a lawyer to I'll just use the Ruah but you wont believe him either because its just TOO DAMN INCONVENIENT TO THE POWER STRUCTURE THANK YOU I"LL BE BACK SUNDAY

TUESDAY, APRIL 5 2022

1. The Jews got bitten by poisonous snakes in the desert, so God told Moses to
make an image of a serpent and mount it on a pole
do a snake dance to ward off the devil
capture the snake with a staff, put it in a wineskin, extract the poison fron the fangs and make an antidote
pray the kadosh prayer 7 times a day until the snakes got sick of it and died

2. Jesus said to the religious leaders, where I am going you cannot come, and they responded
so now he's suicidal, is that it?
does he have a Roman passport? How much did he bribe Nikodemo for that?
he thinks he's the second coming of Elijah but where's the angelic lambo, old sport?
we quit

3.Today is the feast of Vincent Ferrer whose church?
used to be the home of Father George Frassati?
is the meeting place of tipi loschi?
has a dome with more mosaics than the Carmine Street Pompei basilica?
was burned to the ground in a weird tribute to V for Vendetta

WED, APRIL 6 2022

1. Nebuchedzezzar attempted to force beast worship upon whom?
Sidrach, Mishak and Abednego
Saul, David and Solomon
Abraham, Isaac and Jacob
Peter, James and John

2.THey were supposed to do what?
attend a Pandora Party, accept a magnetic surveillance chip in the behind and make out with the Hadids?
Go to a Travis Scott concert waving a banner that said Beezebubbe is my ham
Hang out with decaprio at the wall street masonic bullshizzy or is it bearshizzy farmers market
worship the beast when they heard the lute, the flute and the toot or something to that effect
we need to clean this up ok its not classy enough for the crediting board

3.Jesus said?
you are trying to kill me?
my testimony is true?
I come not of myself?
a, b and C

THURSDAY 7 APRILE Jesus "rats himself out" as "I AM"

1. Abraham lived more or less when, according to historians (not only walter benjamin)
2 thousand years before Christ
150 hundred years before Christ?
about the same time as Christ
during the pontificate of pope pio nono

2. Jesus scandalized the pharisees when he said:?
Abraham saw my day and was glad to see it
Amen I tell you all, before Abraham was, "I AM"
amen, if you believe in me you shall not die forever
a, b and c

3.They picked up stones to kill the poor loveable Jesus, but ?
there were not enough stones of the correct weight
he hid from them, as rats will do, and snuck out
He said, Im calling the police and they said, "we are the police"
Carmine showed up with a warehouse' worth of kalishnakovs and said "show's over."

ALSO, JUST fyi though kerfuffles have lately abounded, we just had.a SAINT DOMINIC DE guzman NOT SHORTY GUZMAN trifecta: Ferrer, Frassati and de la salle. Though Frassai's earthly birthday not his heavenly feast which is the Fourth of July fireworks blowout (not to be confused with the beachfront bochorno labor day boost your own bugatti blowout lol

FRIDAY 8 APRILE Jesus escapes the executioner's hand one last time"

1.The terror of knowing you are hunted, was shared by
Jesus and Walter Benjamin
Jesus and Savonarola
Jesus and Shorty Guzman
all of these

2. Jesus scandalized the pharisees when he said:?
I am God
I am real estate
I am more popular than the Beatles but Satan won't admit it
a, b and c

3.They picked up stones to kill the poor loveable Jesus, but ?
he ran away to the river and ate the Baptists' leftover honey
he ran for president on the ticket of Man of the Year, alleging computer glitches had elected Tiberius
He bilocated over to Greece where he hid out in a castle formerly used by Aristophanes for dramatic productions when the weather was too foul to use an outdoor theater
He went to the place, which really who wouldnt'

As we enter the pascal season for CHristians, note that this page is not meant to mock the cops, only to suggest, if we abandon the "fulfillment of the law" which is love we are left with the moses version, the terrifying volcano that "no one dared to approach". If we wish the angels nd the festival canticle spoken of by paul who probably heard it firsthand (and maybe dante did as well who knows) maybe as hard as it is to skip vendetta, love is the key that unlocks the gate of paradise forever.

SAT 9 APRILE

1. the jews were worried that the romans would be jealous of jesus and
cancel him on the world wide web
refuse him entry at berghaine
place nucular weapons on the border
challenge the pontificate of pope pio nono

2. Jesus retreated to the wilds of
efraim and mannassah
just efraim
christopher mccandless
walden pond

3.as the pasch approached, thy all wondered
will it be sunny
will jesus show up
will tiberius. torch thoreau's cabin and smoke jesus out
will Carmine show up with a warehouse' worth of kalishnakovs and say "show's over."

SUN 10 APRILE LAST WEEK OF CLASS, PEOPLE!!

As jesus comes out of hiding to fulfill his Passover duty as a faithful Jew, and faces the Roman judge without benefit of counsel,.....

1. Jesus probably saw the cherry moon rising and said to himself
Prince is going to die
I am going to die
I am the Prince! He stole me SEO optimization that piffler!!
A and B but only the first part of C since Jesus loves Prince Rogers and probably likewise

2. he then said "hellwiddit" which was a very literal expression at taht particular moment and told his friends
go borrow a jackass
herod is a jackass
I'm surrounded by jackasses
ciucciu beddu disstu cori! come ti pozzu ama`

3.the people unlike the government were glad to see the Return of the King, and shouted
BOOYAAAA
HOSAHHAH
HALLELUJAH
ELOHIM BARKU HASHEM

MON 11 APRILE LAST WEEK OF CLASS, PEOPLE!!

The pharisees plotted to kill Larzarus also, muttering
two for the price of one
seagulls eat my fries and poop in my eyes no wait that's Tobit
You're both wrong, Lazaro is not spelled Larus!
If we kill enough of these saints do you think tiberius will build a collosseum for us HEY HEY

2. Too sad to continue. Pause. marches into court of Tiberius shouting YOU BALONEY BILLIONAIRE IMMA FIX YOUR CLOCK AND FRY YOUR POTATOES BY GOD to which Jesus replied
give to caesar what is caesars, which is essentially nothing as I have observed in other occasions since "All authority is mine" after the resurrection anyways its a fine point of theology but lets get serious, all money belongs to God along with everything else
Pilate didnt really want to kill me anyways, it was these pharisees worrying about a revolution for reasons no one ever could really understand. Jesus was not a violent man.
I'm surrounded by jackasses
ciucciu beddu disstu cori! come ti pozzu ama`

3. the woman of "questionalble repute" gave Jesus a bottle of Gio by Armani or whatever, to which the pharisees guffawed,
its a struggle to get that one in the caravan
I can't be seen amongst this riff raff. Good day, gentlemen.
waste of Good parfum but Maybe I'll go get some more at the Medina Bazaar this weekend.
this food is overcooked.

And on a personal note, half those pharisees had probably "frequented" that streetwalker and the money they paid her she used on Jesus' hair, which made them about as jelly as helly.
This came in last week: Biden, who is beholden to just about every imaginaable power on earth, has managed to secure an indefinite annuity for all big pharma comapnies, as variants of the virus promise in a closed sentae hearing to mutate forever and pay for all congress members to vacation in Miami Beach ,San Juan and or Mayorca. Suddenly the vaccine trade along with the weapons trade is looking pretty good once again after decades of apparent peace and health in the US. ok thats not really true we were always at war over in the middle east.

Quiz by Lynx Lauschens potential for Pasolinian pedagogical partnerships

MASSTERCLASS!